Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Matchwriters: Strike (***), Alkaline (**), Kidster (*)
Outlaw (OW): Welcome to another EXCITING edition of Global Championship Wrestling Sunday Night Rage!
Ryan Jones (RJ): Why is Hayes wearing a Santa hat?
Michael Hayes (MH): Because the Freebird's in the spirit, Jonesy.
OW: And he's talking in third person.
RJ: That is like ... so ... five minutes ago.
OW: So are mullets.
RJ: Indeed.
MH: MULLETS RULE!
OW: Well, let's get down to business.
RJ: Yeah, Hayes, what do we have going on tonight?
MH: Good question ... wait ... nevermind. We've got seven booked matches tonight. Starting with a debut, Satan against Venom.
OW: Can I sleep through it?
MH: I wouldn't suggest it ... I think this Venom is something.
RJ: Nah, he's pathetic.
OW: Neither of you have seen him in the ring yet!
RJ: Umm ...
MH: Moving on, we've got the four tag-team tournament matches. Pendleton and HellRaizor face SSR and HHM. Dracos and Evans fight Major Battery. Old School goes against Kerr and Otaku, and Blood, Inc. goes against Priestley and Harris.
OW: A couple of unlucky match-ups there.
RJ: And our main events are the Television Championship match between the newly crowned Champion, Sensational Scotty Ryan against Graham Pendleton.
MH: And our second main-event being a First Blood match for the Georgia Heavyweight Championship between the challenger, The Fox, and the Champion, Alex Knight.
OW: And we'll also be hearing from Walter Joseph Kovacs!
RJ: YES!
MH: At least he's not here.
OW: Yeah ... well, let's get started.
"Most Likely to Suck" hits the speakers and the crowd begins ... well ... going for popcorn or something as Satan walks down the ramp. He seems very happy with all the noise that the fans are making going up the aisles.
MH: Satan looks excited to be getting such a response from the crowd.
OW: zzz
RJ: Outlaw's sleeping again.
"The End" begins and the crowd cheers for Aaron Venom as he walks down the ramp and slides into the ring. He jumps up and down, getting the crowd pumped up for his first match.
MH: This kid looks exciting.
RJ: That's what you said about Vortex ... WHERE IS HE NOW, HAYES?! WHERE IS HE NOW?
OW: zzz ... wha? Shut up, Jones. I was sleeping.
Rage Match #1: | ||
Debut | ||
|
Satan |
versus |
Aaron Venom |
|
SSR (just get it into me within the next week); match summary: Aaron Venom goes all out on Satan, showing the crowd all of his arsenal before pinning him. He proves a point. | ||
OW: Venom takes it.
RJ: CONVINCINGLY!
MH: Indeed.
OW: Venom did show us his entire arsenal on that one. Quite a talent if he can do that kind of stuff against some real competition.
RJ: Satan is real competition!!!
MH: Don't diss the Satan ... he's THE MAN!
OW: ...
RJ: This coming from the man that started GCW Song and Dance?
MH: Hey!
OW: And who has a mullet?
RJ: And who drinks more at bars in one night than half the population of the World drink in a year.
MH: I do not!
OW: Yeah, Jones ... that one really sucked.
RJ: Oh yeah? Yeah? Well ... your mom!
MH: Your mother is a hampster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
OW: Get on with it!
RJ: That was the Monty Python reference of the week!
MH: Buy it on VHS or DVD now!
OW: You guys are frickin' idiots.
RJ: ... so!
MH: We're going backstage, apparently Alkaline and Majors are strategizing backstage!
The camera fades into Ross Majors' locker room. There, Ross Majors sits in a chair, preparing for his match along with Alkaline against Scott Evans and Cyan Dracos. Suddenly, the door swings open, and in walks his tag-team partner, Alkaline.
Ross Majors(RM): What do you want, battery boy?
Alkaline(AL): Look, Majors, I don't wanna dick around here.
RM: Well than get to the point.
AL: Well, I'm not going to be able to compete tonight ... injuries ...
RM: What the HELL!? I knew tagging with you was a mistake!
AL: Look, I'm sorry ...
RM: That's alright, chico! Besides! I'm Ross Majors! I don't need no stinkin' kid to win a match! I'll take Evans and Dracos easily!
Majors gets up and confidently walks out the door. The camera shows Alkaline shaking his head and smiling, before fading back to the threesome that NOBODY dreams about,Jones, Outlaw, and Hayes.
OW: Alkaline's injured?
RJ: YES! Alkaline is injured.
MH: Greeaaaat.
OW: Well, shall we get to the next match?
RJ: Sure, give us the run down, Mike.
MH: Pendleton and HellRaizor, victorious last week, are going against two Proving Grounds graduates, He Hate Me and Sensational Scotty Ryan. Of course He Hate Me and HellRaizor were together as the Unstoppables a few months ago and Pendleton and SSR are sort of politically aligned.
OW: It seems like it should be He Hate Me and HellRaizor against SSR and Pendleton.
RJ: Well, let's get started.
"Music" begins and Pendleton and HellRaizor walk down the ramp together, and get into the ring. They don't look very enthused on their chances.
OW: Can this team coexist tonight?
RJ: I hope so ... I don't want SSR in Survivor Match!!!
MH: HellRaizor didn't show all week.
"One of a Kind" hits and the crowd roars as SSR and HHM rush down the ramp, and slide into the ring, they get right up into the faces of their opponent, and give each other a high five.
OW: These two seem to be perfect partners.
RJ: Suuuure.
MH: Let's get this match rolling.
Rage Match #2: | ||
Tag-Team Tournament | ||
|
GPHR |
versus |
Graduates |
|
The two teams discuss who will be starting for them,and it is decided that SSR and Pendleton will start out the match. The two men climb in the ring,and the bell rings. They lock up,and SSR hurls Pendleton into the ropes. Pendleton comes back..he baseball slides beneath SSR! PENDLETON WITH A LOW BLOW TO SSR! SSR is down and HHM is LIVID! SSR lies on the ground, while Pendleton celebrates. He lays in the boots,and then goes for a cover! 1..KICKOUT! SSR still has plenty of life left in him. Pendleton hauls SSR to his feet,and then NAILS snap suplex. He goes for the cover again! 1..2..HHM breaks up the count! And, just for good measure, he demolishes HellRaizor,who was on the ring apron,with a stiff right hand. Raizor falls to the ground,and HHM follows him out to continue the beat down. Back in the ring, SSR and Pendleton are both up. SSR punches Pendleton in the mid section,then quickly nails a DDT on him. Raizor and HHM have now resumed their positions in the corners. SSR pulls Pendleton to his feet,and then grabs him by the neck and runs into the ropes..BULLDOG! SSR gets up and quickly tags in He Hate Me. HHM flies into the ring like a wild fire, laying boots into Pendleton's body. He quickly pulls up Pendleton,and whips into a neutral corner,where he lays in ten punches. HHM climbs down from the turn buckle,and Pendleton falls flat down. HHM laughs. He goes for the cover.. 1..2..RAIZOR BREAKS IT UP! HHM is up to his feet,and confronts Raizor..HHM SWINGS AT HIM! Blocked! Raizor delivers a stiff kick to HHM midsection. Then, Raizor drags Pendleton to the corner,climbs out the ring, slaps Pendleton's hand,and climbs back in. Kinda like a Chinese fire drill. Anyways, it's Raizor and He Hate Me as the two legal men now. They lock up in the middle of the ring, and Raizor gains the upper hand. He nails HHM with a reverse DDT,and then puts him in a arm-bar. Raizor manages to keep his former tag team partner in this hold for a good 3 minutes,before HHM can get to the ropes. The two of them get up,and they both tag in their partners. Pendleton,seemingly having gained a 2nd wind, RUSHES at SSR and DEMOLISHES him a flying lariat! Raizor is attempting to get the crowd riled up. Anyways, Pendleton, quick too his feet, has gotten up and dropped an elbow onto SSR. He hauls SSR to his feet,and then flings him into the ropes. SSR comes back quick,and he manages to slide tackle Pendleton to the ground! The crowd goes NUTS! SSR leaps to his feet,and runs to the turn buckle,waiting for Pendleton to get up..a few seconds..pass..SSR is poised..HE JUMPS! HE NAILS PENDLETON WITH A HUGE FLYING DROPKICK! Pendleton is down! SSR GOES FOR THE COVER! 1..2.999999..Raizor breaks it up! SSR looks mad! The ref quickly shoes Raizor out of the ring,and SSR tags in HHM. He Hate Me quickly moves in on the injured Pendleton. He scoops him up and NAILS a back breaker on Pendleton! Pendleton looks out! He Hate Me goes for the cover..1..2..3! SSR and HHM move forward torwards Survivor Match! | ||
OW: Well, that was quite a simple match.
RJ: Simple? Is that the only way you can describe it?
MH: SSR and HHM dominated.
OW: Yeah.
RJ: So it was simple.
MH: I suppose.
OW: Of course.
RJ: So what's next?
MH: We're going to have Cyan Dracos address us.
OW: Isn't he wrestling later tonight?
RJ: Maybe he's retiring!!!
MH: You say that like it's a good thing ...
"Lynchpin" starts playing, and Cyan Dracos walks out from the back. He stands there for a moment. He's wearing street clothes, obviously not prepared to wrestle tonight. He slowly makes his way down the ramp to the ring. As he enters the ring, he's handed a mic. It takes a moment for the crowd to die down before he can begin to speak.
Dracos: "Thanks for that, I appreciate it. I've been in this company for over a year now, and I've been wrestling professionally for about eight years. Never did I expect today to come. I never thought that I would be out here to say what I'm about to say.
I've had a great career here in GCW. I'm a former Georgia Champion, former Television Champion, I made the Unsanctioned title, I retired the Cruiserweight title ... I've done more than I thought I could. I've had some great matches with Strike, Biocide, HHH, Taintking, Alex Awesome... I've done it all, except win the World Heavyweight Title. And it looks like I'll have to live without ever holding that belt in my hands."
The fans begin to realize what Cyan is about to say. They begin to show their support, and ask him not to do this.
Dracos: "There aren't too many people in the back that will admit to liking me. Not too many people in the front office either.
You see, my contract as a GCW wrestler expired the day after Halloween Horror. Ever since then I've been doing one-night only contracts for each individual RAGE. You see, with the whole messs of switching presidents, I was kind of forgotten. It's not like my contract would have been renewed, though... both Off Season AND Mosall would have done anything to get rid of me. It turns out all they had to do, was nothing. So, I came out here tonight to say..."
Rob Zombie's "Scum of the Earth" interrupts Cyan as Off Season and all of Blood Inc. come out to the ramp. Season has a mic.
Season: "So, you're no longer under contract to GCW. Boo hoo, Cyan. The only thing that means is that you're trespassing. I'm going to give you three minutes to leave that ring, before I sic these killers on you.
You wanna know somthing, Cyan? I never liked you. From when I first kicked your ass to when I teamed with you, I couldn't stand you. You're weak, in body and mind. You never won the world title because you were never good enough. You were handed everything you got! I've kicked your ass so many times that it's not even funny! My first GCW match I beat you!"
Dracos: "Do you wanna know somthing? I laid down for you. The office paid me to let you win, because they wanted you to be elevated. They wanted you to become big. They liked you. And becuse I let you win, I got a tidey sum of money. Not my proudest hour, yeah... but that's why you beat me, Strike."
Season: "It's Off Season to you. Or, better yet, Mr. President."
Dracos: "No, it's Strike. We all know you're just playing with us. You don't have multiple personalities, you just wanna be loved after you do the dirty work. I know you better than anyone, Strike. It's obvious."
Season: "HOW DARE YOU?! Boys, get him!"
Dracos: "Wait a second! I'm not under contract as a wrestler anymore. If you so much as lay a hand on me, you'll be subject to criminal charges."
Season: "Fine. Retire and get out of my ring!"
Dracos: "Yeah. I'm officially retiring from in-ring competition. Cyan Dracos the wrestler is no more..."
Season: "Good, good, now cut to commercial, and get out of here!"
Dracos: "You didn't let me finish. I may be retired from in-ring competition, but you can't get rid of me that easily. You see... I'm the third stockholder!!"
The crowd erupts as Off Season is livid. He tries to charge to the ring, but Blood Inc. hold him back, so he won't get arrested.
Dracos: "Season, you think that I'm your bitch? Well, we'll see who's who's bitch now!"
Season: "I'll get you for this, Dracos! You screwed me!"
Dracos: "I didn't screw Off Season, Off Season Screwed Off Season! Your own greed and ambition got the better of you. And now, you have to answer to Myself, HHH, and Damien Stone. You'd better watch yourself, because you've just begun to have problems. Ladies and gentlemen...let the new age begin!"
With that, Blood Inc. drags the president off the stage, as Cyan slowly walks to the back.
OW: Ha! Dracos threw a curveball to Off Season.
RJ: NOOOOOO!
MH: Nice analogy there, 'law.
OW: Don't call me that.
RJ: Nice analogy there Outl'.
MH: ...
OW: Yeah, that was just about gay.
RJ: I WASN'T STARING!
MH: It's not "gay", Outlaw. We gotta start saying lesbian.
OW: Sorry. That was soooo lesbian.
RJ: What's next, Hayes?
MH: Dracos and Evans against Major Battery.
OW: But Alkaline and Dracos aren't wrestling anymore!
RJ: Oh yeah ... what's going to happen?
"Tomorrow" by SR-71 begins and the crowd boos as Ross Majors walks down to the ring without an Alkaline. He just looks angry, and gets into the ring waiting for his opponent.
RJ: Majors is THE MAN!
OW: He's a member of the New Blood, although his face wasn't around too much on LiveWire this week.
MH: Hopefully he can get back into shape.
"Evans' music" hits the speaker and the crowd rains down boos for him, and he gets in the ring and stares down Majors. The two get ready to fight.
OW: It looks like it'll just be a singles match.
RJ: That'll mean only one will have to be eliminated next week!
MH: Yeah ... a seven-pack challenge ... right, Jones.
Rage Match #3: | ||
Tag-Team Tournament | ||
|
Cyan and Scott |
versus |
Major Battery(Ross Majors and Alkaline) |
|
Ross Majors and Scott Evans stand in the ring, ready to duke it out. Seconds pass, as they stare at each other, when suddenly ...
IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
HHH appears on the ramp,mic in hand. The two men direct their attention to him.
HHH: Hello gentleman. Seeing as your tag team partners- Dracos and Alkaline, respectively, have announced themselves un-able to participate in the Survivor Match tournament, I have decided to put you two together into one team! Therefore, Ross Majors and Scot Evans advance together in the tournament by default!
Evans and Majors look at each other for a moment,then simply turn and leave the ring. | ||
OW: That makes perfect sense!
MH: Nice job by HHH there.
RJ: I don't like this ... he had a nice choice of people to put together, but I don't like HHH!
OW: Only because he's against Off Season.
MH: I think Jonesy likes Season.
RJ: I WASN'T STARING!
OW: Hayes?
MH: Yep, you're right. Time to go backstage.
The camera fades into a door with the words "New Blood, Inc." printed on it in red. The door slowly opens and we can see three men within, Alex Kerr, Georgia champion Alex Knight, and Ross Majors. Kerr is warming up for his tag team match which is coming up next, while Majors rests on a matress and Knight leans against a locker with his title over his shoulder. The camera swings around as Jon Doe walks in with new white mask over his face. he quickly walks over to Alex Knight and starts speaking to him. Of course the voice is distorted.
Jon Doe (JD): Hey Alex, I need to borrow this belt of yours for a little while man.
Alex Knight (AK): What the fuck for?
JD: Don't worry 'bout it man. You'll thank me for it later though. So will Kerr.
Doe nods towards the other Alex in the room, who isn't paying attention to the conversation. Knight looks at Doe for a few seconds and then shrugs and holds the title out to Jonathon.
AK: Take good care of it. This belt's my baby.
JD: Don't worry man. I'll bring it back in mint condition.
Doe takes the belt from Alex Knight and quickly exits the locker room. The camera zooms into Knight's bewildered face and then fades back to our announcing team of Hayes, Outlaw, and Jones.
RJ: This sounds COOL!
OW: What is the New Blood planning?
MH: I don't know, but I don't like the sound of it.
RJ: I do!
OW: At least Jones has cheered up.
MH: And now we get to hear from Walter Joseph Kovacs!
RJ: YES!
OW: Great. JUST what I needed.
The camera shows the a small cabin in the snowy fields of Russia. Bundled up, and carry a view items of luggage, is Walter Joseph Kovacs. As he reaches the cabin, he drops his luggage and knocks at the door. He takes off his gloves, and blows on his hands before knocking on the door. The door to the cabin opens on the first knock, as it doesn't appear to be locked. Kovacs enters the cabin, and it's very dark.
Walter Joseph Kovacs (WJK) : Peter? Mr. Ironovich? Are you here?
Voice (V) : Peter isn't here.
WJK : Who is that?
The door closes behind Kovacs and the cameraman, and a the 'click' of a padlock locking can be heard. The room is dark except for the light coming in between the cracks in the cabin walls.
V : It doesn't matter who I am right now, but I'm the one you've been looking for.
WJK : I was looking for Peter Ironovich. He's a legend. I wanted to be trained by the best.
V : Peter is a murderer, that's why he's a legend. And you weren't looking for him. You were looking for Psyberia.
WJK : And what's the difference?
V : Psyberia is dead.
WJK : What did you do to him?
V : Don't worry, Peter is alive and well. Somewhere. But you won't find him. And even if you did, he wouldn't train you. He isn't a wrestler anymore, and he wouldn't be able to help you. But I can.
WJK : And why would I want YOU to help me?
V : Because I'm the best. And I think you know what I mean.
WJK : You sent that tape, didn't you?
V : Of course. Trevor thought he was talking with Peter all that time. He should have known better, but he probably didn't want to believe that the Peter he knew was gone forever. But he is. But I'm still here. I always am.
WJK : So, what do you want?
V : You're a smart kid, you know that I don't give anything away. I know what I want, and when I need it, I'll take it. And you'll help me. But for now, I'm going to help you.
WJK : And what's in it for you?
V : I want to help GCW. Unlike what many may have told you, I am not entirely egocentric. I have a wealth of knowledge, and you have the youth, the physical condition, and the ability to take advantage of it. I can make you the best EVER.
WJK : And why would you do that?
V : Because GCW doesn't need a hero. It doesn't need a monster. It doesn't need a machine. It needs the best wrestler ever. And you are going to be that wrestler.
WJK : So, what are we going to do?
V : You will do as I say. No questions asked. When I'm done with you, you will be a new man. You and I will combine what we have to be the best. EVER.
The camera fades (not that you'd notice in the dark).
V : Now, let's get to work.
Fade back to commentators.
OW: Who is that?
RJ: I know!
MH: Who?
RJ: Your mom.
OW: That was such a lesbian comeback, Jones.
MH: Shall we go to our next match?
RJ: What IS our next match?
OW: What? You mean our expert journalist future CNN worker doesn't know? Psst ... Hayes ... what is the next match?
MH: We've got Old School, Fox and Foley, against Kerr and Otaku.
RJ: Let's get down to business.
"Symbiotic" by Living Sacrifice begins and the crowd roars as Fox and Mick Foley walk out from behind the curtain and walk down the ramp and get into the ring. They pump up the crowd and warm up for their opponents.
OW: These two look ready.
RJ: Foley can really do some damage at Survivor Match if he puts himself up to it.
MH: If he makes it there, but so can Fox, and Otaku, and Kerr. The trick is getting there.
"X-Mas Dreams" by Two Mix begins and the crowd cheers and boos as Otaku walks out, followed by Alex Kerr. Kerr is not liked, while Otaku is being cheered loudly. Otaku is stumbling down the ramp, as if drunnk, and slowly gets into the ring. Kerr follows, obviously concerned about his chances with a drunken man as his partner, and stares down Fox and Foley.
MH: Are you ready, Jones?
RJ: I suppose ... go Kerr!
OW: Kerr and Otaku in a war against Old School, next!
Rage Match #4: | ||
Tag-Team Tournament | ||
|
Old School |
versus |
Team Unlucky |
|
Foley and Fox discuss their strategy as Kerr and Otaku do the same. Otaku and Fox decide to start it off, and Kerr and Foley retreat to the apron, where they start a stare-down. Otaku and Fox begin to circle, former friends, current foes. The bell rings and the referee gets between them and tells them to go at it, the two are cautious, slowly circling. Fox makes a slow first move, taking a step towards, this causes Otaku to go in a burst of speed at Fox with a quick right hand that takes Fox down, but Fox doesn't go down alone, spinning on an axis and taking Otaku's feet out from under him. Fox hops up and Otaku gets up, not realizing Fox is up, and turns right into a right hand, the crowd is half and half for both competitors, not knowing who to root for in this exchange. Otaku takes down Fox with a snap suplex and comes with a few boots. He boots him into the corner, drags him to his feet, and whips him to the other side of the ring headfirst, he bounces off right into a neckbreaker. Fox reaches for Foley, but Otaku isolates him from him, picking him up, and bouncing him off the ropes into a clothesline. Kerr asks to be tagged in, and he gets the tag. Kerr comes in and lays in the boots, trying to make sure the advantage Otaku made is still there. Kerr picks Fox up slowly, and gets a gut-shot, and Fox nails a DDT on Kerr out of desperation. He reaches for Foley ... TAG! TAG! Hot tag! Kerr is up! BAM! Kerr is down! Foley with the clothesline, and Foley follows up with a forearm to Otaku knocking him off the apron and onto the barricade. Foley turns around into a Kerr right hand, Kerr follows up with another, but the third is blocked and Foley shoves Kerr backwards into the ropes and into a belly-to-belly overhead release suplex. The ring rumbles at the impact. Otaku is back on the apron, and Fox and Otaku stare across the ring at each other. Kerr quickly tags in Otaku, not wanting to be in the ring with Foley any longer. Foley goes at Otaku, but Otaku's fresher, and Otaku turns the tables on Foley by knocking him down with a dropkick. Foley crawls over and tags in Fox. Otaku whips Fox into the turnbuckle, but wait the ref gets in the way! Fox takes out the ref. Otaku goes over to check on the referee and wake him up. Foley and Kerr are exchanging blows outside of the ring. The crowd erupts in boos and the camer turns to see Jonathon Doe leap over the guard rail out of the crowd, with the GA title. He slides into the ring behind Fox. Jon taps Fox on the shoulder. The Irish Fox spins around and Doe lays him out with a shot from Alex Knight's Georgia title. Fox is busted open! That blow is really going to give Knight the advantage in the First Blood match later. Jon Doe starts to stomp away on the downed Fox. Wait, Otaku out of nowhere nails a dropkick on Doe. Doe leaps back to his feet and ducks a clothesline attempt by Otaku and BAAM! otaku goes down from a GA title shot to the skull. Jon Doe turns around and FOLEY DISTRACTED THE REFEREE! It was Doe's intent on getting Old School disqualified! The ref turns around to see Doe go for another shot but Foley drops him with a DDT and tosses him out of the ring. The referee sees the two men down but didn't see it so he just makes it a one-on-one between Foley and Kerr! Kerr gets in the ring apprehensively, and Foley takes him to school with rights and lefts and comes with a snap-suplex! The crowd roars as Foley drops him with a dominator! A pin! One! Two! Kerr gets his foot on the ropes! Kerr gets his foot on the ropes! The crowd boos and Foley isn't happy. Foley drags Kerr to his feet and MANDIBLE CLAW! MANDIBLE CLAW! THE CROWD ROARS AS THE MANDIBLE CLAW IS APPLIED TO KERR! KERR IS LOWERED DOWN AND HE'S GOING OUT! Foley has this locked in EXTREMELY well, and Alex Kerr has no choice but to tap. He hesitates, but decides its for the best, and taps in full-force. The bell is rung, and Doe is up on the outside celebrating the win, not realizing that Kerr lost. He turns around to see Foley and Fox's arms being raised and looks livid! He slides in the ring with the belt and goes for a spear, but Foley drops him with a DDT and lays in the boots. Old School walks up the ramp together with the crowd cheering them loudly. | ||
OW: Looks like the Otaku and Kerr are eliminated.
RJ: It was a close one.
MH: It wasn't a great match ... Fox and Kerr just didn't seem up to normal.
OW: That's the truth.
RJ: What's next, Mike?
MH: Backstage to meet the Season.
OW: JUST what I wanted to do.
RJ: Me too!
MH: You want to have an orgy with Season?
OW: That is NOT what I meant. Hey, you can say 'orgy' on television?
RJ: I WASN'T STARING! I WASN'T STARING! I WASN'T STARING!
The scene fades in to President Chris "Off Season" Rush's office. He sits back with his feet on his desk and flings a dart at the wall, and nails the center. In his mouth is a pipe that he is puffing on slowly, and on the desk is a gallon of alcoholic eggnog, and a cup poured full of it. He opens his mouth to speak.
Christopher Rush (CR): First off I'd like to wish you all a happy holiday. You see, I'm not totally evil. I believe in Christmas, I celebrate it. I'm a christian. So what better than to celebrate a little Christmas tradition? Last week I was ... fortunate ... enough to receive my present from Graham Pendleton, and oh what a nice one it was ...
Rush has a Singapore Cane in his hand, and he signals to it.
CR: And tonight, I have a special Christmas present for you all ... and it will be a dandy. See you then.
Fade back to commentators.
OW: That was ... disturbing.
RJ: No, it wasn't. Season is human, he proved it.
MH: He's as inhuman as an ... as an ... alien.
OW: That was good ...
RJ: But he celebrates Christmas!
MH: Who says aliens can't celebrate Christmas?
OW: Yeah!
RJ: OK ... shut up ... cuemusicnow.
"Meet the Creeper" blasts over the loud-speakers and the crowd boos EXTREMELY loudly as Alex Knight and John Doe step out from behind the curtain, followed by Ross Majors and Alex Kerr, although they're a bit back, standing at the top of the ramp, probably "keeping the peace".
OW: Apparently Blood is scared of interference.
RJ: I don't blame them, they are likely to be attacked.
MH: Probably by the crowd.
"[Insert Theme Here]" begins and the crowd boos, cheers, and gasps simultaneously, which is hard to do, try it, no wait, better not ... oh, too late. You're all dead. If you're reading this, you're one smart cookie. Anyway, they walk down the ramp and get into the ring. Yeah ...
OW: I think the crowd died.
RJ: Oh my g*d! You killed Kenny!
MH: No ... they aren't dead ... they're just ... daed. Yeah.
OW: The crowd is moving. Dead people do not move. Ask Crow.
RJ: I WASN'T STARING!
MH: That's disgusting.
Rage Match #5: | ||
Tag-Team Tournament | ||
|
Blood, Inc. |
versus |
Non-Coalition |
|
"The Real Deal" Zak Harris and Rick Priestley argue about who should go first while Knight and Doe quickly select Doe. Doe goes at Harris, knocking him to the ground and burying the boots. Doe shoves Priestley over the top rope as he goes at Harris. The bell finally rings and Doe whips Harris across the ring into the corner, where he comes with boots. The referee comes to admonish him but Doe just shoves the referee. The referee is down! Priestley comes in with a chair! DOE DUCKS! PRIESTLEY JUST NAILED HARRIS! LOW-BLOW BY DOE! (Hey, that rhymed) Priestley takes up the chair and nails Knight! THE REF SAW IT! DISQUALIFICATION! PRIESTLEY AND HARRIS WERE DISQUALIFIED! Doe and Knight retreat up the ramp and Harris is LIVID with Priestley. | ||
OW: Blood, Inc. pull another one out of the toilet and into their win column.
RJ: What's that supposed to mean?
MH: That the new Blood reached in a toilet, pulled out some you know what, and put it in their win column.
RJ: I WASN'T STARING!
OW: Hayes ... next time just ignore him.
MH: Right.
RJ: We've just got a bit of the show left!
OW: Indeed, but what's next?
MH: Apparently STD is talking with someone backstage.
"Soaring" Tobago Dibble is standing backstage, wearing odd clothing, odd as in a cape, and just like odd. He is pacing back and forth across the floor in front of Mr. T and Gary Coleman.
"Soaring" Tobago Dibble (STD): Tonight, my friends, I will make an impact felt all the way across Global Championship Wrestling! I will do what has never been done before! I will undo a wrong, and redo a right. I shall be the greatest Christmas Present in GCW history!
Gary Coleman (GC): What are you going to do, Tobago?
STD: That's a good question, Gary. A very good question. You see, Gary, I've figured out my life purpose. My life purpose is not to stand backstage like an idiot hanging around with a couple of l- very cool limo and helluva fast van drivers, but it is to go out and help people.
GC: Help people?
STD: Yes! You see, there are a lot of problems in Global Championship Wrestling today. I am here to address them. I will walk outside that door tonight and the first superstar I see that needs help I will give advice. For I am a great philisophical power.
Mr. T (T): I PITY THE FOO DAT STAND IN DIBBLE'S WAY!
STD: YES! YES! And now ... to go!
STD walks out the door and there, standing there, almost magically is Aaron Venom, looking perfectly ok, leaning against a wall drinking a soda and talking to a member of the ring crew. STD walks right over to him and interrupts the conversation.
STD: Adam Velium ... that's your name right? Good. I have noticed a horrible sadness in you lately, and I have a bit of advice for you.
Aaron Venom just stares, stopping his conversation.
Aaron Venom (AV): ...
STD: Never play ping-pong with a wallet.
STD walks off, satisfied, and the scene fades back to the commentators.
OW: STD has gone insane!
RJ: I don't think so.
MH: I thought it was sort of funny.
OW: I don't deny that STD is funny ... sometimes.
RJ: Major STD! I WASN'T STARING!!!
MH: ...
OW: Hey, Hayes?
MH: Yep ... next match.
"Pretty Fly" by the Offspring begins and the crowd cheers for Graham Pendleton as he walks down the ramp and gets into the ring and gets ready to challenge for the Television Championship.
OW: Graham Pendleton looks ready to fight this first main-event tonight.
MH: He certainly does. We'll see if he can hold up his end up this fight.
RJ: A slight malfunction on LiveWire caused him to replay his interview four times!
OW: Two hours straight of Graham Pendleton interviews?!
MH: And it's even the SAME interview!
RJ: It wasn't his fault though ... A/V had some problems.
OW: Stupid Prodigy did it.
"One of a Kind" by Breaking Point starts and the crowd ROARS as "Sensational" Scott Ryan, belt in tote, walks quickly down the ramp and gets into the ring, he stares down Graham Pendleton. The referee raises the belt high in the air to signal that it's on the line.
OW: Title on the line here.
RJ: We'll see who will come out the Television Champion!
MH: Will it be SSR or Pendleton? We'll see ... RIGHT NOW!
Rage Match #6: | ||
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| ||
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Graham Pendleton |
versus |
"Sensational" Scotty Ryan (c) |
|
The match begins with a lock-up the hold each other in the middle of the ring before Pendleton whips SSR into the ropes, SSR bounces off and Pendleton goes for a belly to belly suplex but SSR elbows him in the head and Pendleton falls to the ground, SSR picks up Pendleton and hits a back body drop, then he sets up Pendleton for an elbow drop, he nearly hits it but Pendleton wakes up at the last moment and moves to the side, SSR rolls around in pain as Pendleton picks him up, but SSR hits a few punches, Pendleton hits a few of his own and whips SSR into the ropes, then he bounces himself off the ropes, both go for clothesline and both are hit, they lay in the middle of the ring for a few moments before they stand again, SSR locks up with Pendleton and whips him into the turnbuckle, Pendleton reverses and SSR collides with the turnbuckle, Pendleton runs and tackles SSR, SSR falls onto the ground and Pendleton pins, 1...2...SSR kicks out, Pendleton picks up SSR afterwards and hits a reverse suplex, SSR lies on the ground in the ring as Pendleton climbs the top rope and goes for a Moonsault, he nearly hits it but SSR puts his knees up and lands on his back rolling around in the pain from his ribs. SSR stands again and picks up Pendleton, Pendleton tries to stop the inevitable and goes for a punches, a left, a right, a left, a right, a lef..no it's blocked, SSR hits a right and then locks up with Pendleton and hits a Double-Arm DDT. SSR tries to capitalize by going for another elbow drop from the top rope, and he hits it, he picks up Pendleton again and goes for a stalling brainbuster, but as Pendleton is in the air he causes SSR to flip and Pendleton stands and hits a suplex on SSR, SSR lays in pain as Pendleton goes for the pin, but SSR shoves him off and locks Pendleton in a Chicken Wing, Pendleton struggles through the pain and gets to the ropes, SSR gets up and picks Pendleton up, SSR shoves Pendleton to the ropes and Pendleton bounces off and hits SSR with a clothesline, SSR goes down and Pendleton rolls him up, 1.....2......SSR kicks out right before the refs hand hits the mat for the 3 count. Pendleton goes for the pin again but SSR reverses it into a victory roll-up, 1...2...3!!! SSR stands and celebrates. | ||
OW: SSR successfully retains!
MH: I was sweating bullets there.
RJ: Weren't we all?
OW: Maybe ... HEY!
MH: BACKSTAGE NOW!!!
Biocide is standing backstage with his World Heavyweight Championship over his right shoulder, he's next to Henry "The Hopeless" Oswald. It looks like they're going to do an interview!!!
Henry Oswald (OZ): Biocide, you are the Global Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. At Survivor Match you defend against The Crow, what do you have to say about that man?
Biocide (B): The guy is insane. That's the only way to describe it, Ozzy. He's used political pull to get the Championship the last two times, and I'll be damned if he gets political pull this time.
OZ: Speaking of political pull, will you have it at Survivor Match?
B: Off Season is an honorable man, I assure you that he will not be tainted or do anything that's wrong.
OZ: Any final words?
B: Crow, you dirty necro, I haven't seen you here tonight. Are you scared? It's about time that you face the facts. You're scared, Crow. Look what I did to Kapone and everyone else in the DOJO. You don't want that to be you. Oh, there you are.
Biocide picks up a chair and goes at Crow, Crow drop-toe holds him down onto the chair. Crow flips Bio over and grabs the chair, slamming it into his ribs repetitively. Security rushes in and stops the brawl, and the two try to go at each other, but the swarm of security manages to keep them separated.
OZ: Back to you two!
Fade back to commentators!
OW: It's insane!
MH: This proves it, anything can happen in Global Championship Wrestling.
RJ: Except Satan or Hayes winning the World Title.
MH: I almost did that once!
OW: That's true ... he almost beat Drago.
RJ: Yeah ...
"Symbiotic" by Living Sacrifice begins and the crowd roars as Fox steps out from behind the curtain, apprehensively walking down the ramp, waiting for any type of assault that might be coming. He gets into the ring.
MH: Fox seems to be worried about New Blood coming down the ramp.
RJ: Meh! New Blood doesn't cheat!
OW: Of course they don't. It's number one of Off Season's morals after all.
MH: I thought that "cheat but don't get caught" was number one of Off Season's morals ...
"Shinobi versus Dragon Ninja" by Lost Prophets blares across the arena and the boos come raining down for the New Blood, Inc. leader walks down the ramp rolling a cart full of weapons down the ramp and outside the ring. He steps into the ring and gets ready for this match, giving the referee his Georgia Championship slowly.
RJ: KNIGHT FOR PRIME MINISTER!
OW: ...
MH: Let's get going!
Rage Match #7: | ||
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| ||
|
The Fox |
versus |
Alex Knight (c) |
|
Match Summary; Anyone that Wants to Write this Can. Needs to be Done within next week: Alex Knight and Fox have a long brawl, Knight bleeds first, but hides it from the referee before using a glass bat on Fox and making him bleed on the same spot that Doe made him bleed earlier on in the night. Knight retains, but in cheap fashion. The two men go backstage. | ||
RJ: Knight wins!
OW: Damn!
MH: Outlaw, I've got a special Christmas Present for you and everyone here tonight. You see, no matter who won the match ... tonight is going to be a winner!
"Freebird" hits and Michael Hayes gets up from his position at the announcing desk and gets into the ring, and grabs a microphone. What could Hayes possibly want?
MH: Fans, you know what time it is ...
The crowd roars.
MH: This is my special Christmas present for all of you, and everyone at home, and everyone backstage.
Crowd cheers loudly.
MH: CONSECO FIELDHOUSE PLEASE WELCOME AVRIL LAVIGNE!
The crowd goes apeshit and Avril Lavigne comes down the ramp with a microphone and gets into the ring, Hayes grabs a microphone, and the music starts ... suddenly a bunch of midgets slide in the back of the ring, apparently dancing midgets. Honky Tonk Man, followed by Gary Coleman and STD walk down the ramp as well, and the ring is full of dancing fools!
Avril Lavigne (AL): He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious? He was a punk, she did ballet. What more can I say? He wanted her, she wouldn't tell, but secretly she wanted him as well. All of their friends, stuck up their nose. They had a problem with his baggy clothes ...
MH: I was a skater boy, she said "see you later, boy."!
AL: He wasn't good enough for her! She had a pretty face, but her hair was up his face. She needed to come back down to -
The music suddenly stops, Avril in mid-sentence, and what other than "Scum of the Earth" blasts across the speakers, the midgets stop dancing, and everyone looks up to the top of the ramp as President Chris "Off Season" Rush steps out from behind the curtain. Hayes and Avril look extremely angry. Chris has a microphone.
CR: Mr. Hayes, what have you been drinking? If you wanted to do something like this, you've got to tell me. If you'd have told me perhaps we'd have had time for it ... but instead I have announcements to make.
MH: You f****** bastard! Give the fans what they want, you can announce it on LiveWire.
CR: I don't think so, Mr. Hayes. You see ...
"TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!" hits and DOWN GOES SEASON WITH A BULLDOG ON THE METAL RAMP! TRIPLE H PICKS UP OFF SEASON AND BAM! PEDIGREE ON THE RAMP! Off Season is down! HHH, Dracos, and Stone all have mics.
Damien Stone (DS): Here's his big announcement: There will be no Sunday Night Rage next week. Also, we intend on redoing LiveWire AGAIN to resuit the needs of the administration of GCW. This should be done by Tuesday, we will be going back to what we had to a few weeks ago with 8.0 but without the bandwidth problems.
HHH: There will also be an eight-man two corners two person to be eliminated match between Alex Knight, John Doe, The Fox, Foley, He Hate Me, Sensational Scotty Ryan, Scott Evans, and Ross Majors.
CD: And also the GCW Magazine will be beginning, anyone backstage that is interested in helping contact Triple H. Now Avril, Michael ... on with the show.
